One example I have from real life of online disinhibition effect was the time me and one of my childhood best friends got into an argument over intelligence. He had been upset about not getting an A on an assignment, and when I mentioned it still being a good grade (a B+), he had said something about it being a good grade for an idiot like me. Looking back on it he was clearly just joking around, he was one of my best friends after all, but I took it very personally and took his text as aggression. I started getting angry and defensive towards him. We spewed insults at each other, and I argued my intelligence, having been offended that I felt like I was called stupid in a serious way. Had we been in person, because of his tone, facial expression, and other forms of non-verbal communication, I probably would’ve picked up that he was kidding and made a joke back. However due to it being over text, that lack of non-verbal communication caused things to go south.
I think this primarily happened due to online disinhibition effect, in the sense that since there was a lack of non-verbal communication, I believe I misinterpreted his tone and meaning behind the message. Had we been in person, I believe his tone of voice, facial expressions and other non-verbal cues would’ve enabled me to interpret it as a joke. At the very least being in person it wouldn’t have gotten so heated, even if I hadn’t picked up on the joke as being in person and seeing each other, I don’t think I would’ve felt so inclined to get defensive, and instead question why he said that or something, and responded more appropriately to the situation since we’re actually face-to-face. The guilt of having to see someone when you’re in an argument with them face-to-face would make me much more inclined to try and diffuse the situation, than arguing online did.
Why do I feel more inclined to avoid/diffuse arguments when they’re face-to-face? Why is it so much harder to interpret a message over text? What can I do to be less negatively affected by the online disinhibition effect? Would this still have happened had it been a different best friend? When talking online, how can we avoid miscommunication and online disinhibition effect from spiraling our interactions out of control?
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